Yes I know I do not post on here enough. Out of all of my side projects/businesses/whatevers this blog is the thing that is closest to my soul, probably because it is so intimate. So what prompted me to post now?
A close call with death.
Last Sunday night my fiance and I were driving back from a convention in upstate NY (which was great) and in the middle lane of the interstate we hit a deer going about 70 mph. (We were going 70, I am going to assume the deer was not).
All kidding aside it was terrifying. The car was totaled, we were stranded in the middle of nowhere on a cold November night and we were scared & shaken. We were unconscious in the middle of the highway for an undetermined amount of time. Besides some bruises, back pain and a concussion from yours truly, we walked away fine. Nothing broken, nothing long term (though hopefully this back pain goes away).
In the week that followed I had a lot of time to come to grips with what happened, and more so what didn’t happen. A hundred different slight variables could have occurred and my fiance and I could be without each other right now. Or we both could not be here. Or that fucking deer could have stolen our car (humor is how I deal with things).
Oh wait this is a gaming blog right? To tie this in, these are the thoughts that have been going through my head, besides the intense gratitude and thankfulness that I am here typing this post. I think back to the convention itself (we were vending). I have been part of many conventions, even running one myself, and I thought of the beauty of the whole process.
A group of people, passionate about what they are doing, essentially throwing a party for others, The sacrifice, the work, the thankless hours put in. And when those doors open you have a group of people who are only looking for one thing – to have a great freaking time! No one is looking for a problem, for conflict, to right a wrong as so much of our society conducts “business” these days. To be a part of that, to observe and participate and even sometimes have a direct hand in – it’s a wonderful thing and I am happy and honored to be a part of it.
To come out of the other side of this experience there was a lot of fear – of driving, of getting through the pain and even to get back to normal life. Things can seem silly or frivolous when you come close to losing your life. Why go to work? Why keep trying? But maybe it’s those same things that make the whole thing worth it.
A famous and favorite stoic saying – “Memento Mori – You could leave life right now.” Not so much a morbid warning, but a reminder to always be aware and grateful of the current moment.
You have my word whatever the next post is here will not be nearly as heavy 🙂